Thursday, October 16, 2008

Where are you going with this?

My mind is a constant mosh pit of ideas. Running an online magazine and being so wrapped up in the whole mom entrepreneur world, I'm constantly thinking up business ideas, marketing concepts, and plans to take over the world. Okay, maybe not the world. But seriously, despite having the occasional mommy brain, it seems my mind is generally set to overdrive. I truly wish I could just be content with where I'm at now and focus on the task at hand. And in someways, I've come to that conclusion. I've decided that instead of investing my time in thinking up all these new ideas, I just need to focus on what I've started. To improve upon and take advantage of the amazing opportunities my life has afforded me so far.

So here's where I'm going with all of this. I've scrapped other goals to focus on my online magazine and attempt to make it profitable. The point now is to establish myself in the "mom" industry and then, when my kids have grown a bit, perhaps once they're both in school, I will actually have the time and resources to pursue some of these other goals.

For now, my number one priority is raising my two beautiful children. I love being able to stay home with my kids, even if it means giving up other luxuries. As everyone knows, being a mom is a full time job. And though pursuing my career goals excites me, I'm not sure I'm ready to take on the overtime.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Delusions of Grandeur

If you were a fly on my wall, watching me change diaper after diaper in yesterday's sweats, you would hardly believe this novice mom suffers from delusions of grandeur. As you buzz around my house, you're amazed at the amount of dirty laundry littered from one room to another and you can't quite get over the distinctive smell of poop. You notice the stack of bills on the dining room table, catching a glimpse of a red overdue stamp. "How," you wonder, "could this scattered mom think she's anything more than a harried housewife?"

I may have delusions but I'm certainly not delusional. I know my life is messy right now, wrapped up in the well being of my two babies. I know the reality of this post baby belly, pit stained, under showered mama being anything beyond a stay at home mom in Small Town, America might seem far fetched. So I suppose this is where the delusion comes in. Because even though it might not seem too fabulous from the point of view of a fly, I'm convinced my life is meant to be, and will be, hailed as fabulous from moms across the globe.

If we believe in ourselves enough, can our dreams become our reality? Does vocalizing our dreams bring them any closer to becoming true? I'd like to think so.

My dream is to achieve success and recognition for my work. To pave a new path for mothers who desperately desire to stay home with their children, while earning money and a sense of career accomplishment at the same time. My dream is to be the spokesperson for this new approach to motherhood, after all, I will have written the book - The Novice Mom.

I envision myself venturing out on an extensive press circuit, my entire family in tow. My publisher signing me to a four book deal. Months of every year spent in Maui, working from my laptop, with clients none the wiser that I'm sipping on a Mai Tai, poolside.

But mostly, I envision my life a lot like how it is now. At home, with my children, and yes, even some days in my sweats (though hopefully sans the post baby bod). I might be delusional, thinking this way of life could be passed off as fabulous. But if that's the case, I'd rather be labeled naive then believe my life is anything less.

Friday, October 10, 2008


I once had a blog. It was only a few years ago, though sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. I was single, living in Hollywood, lonely, reckless, and lost. I wrote candidly about my dating (or lack thereof) mishaps, my long to meet Mr. Right, and how despite living the fabulous life of a single gal, inside I was miserable and wondered, "there's got to be more than this!"

And then, in what seems like a blink of an eye, I met Mr. Right. Three months later I was pregnant. A month after that, Mr. Right and I retreated to the beach, trying to escape Hollywood while at the same time keeping it at arm's reach. We fell even more in love and when our son was born, my world forever changed. There was more to life than late night parties and a closet full of shoes, and I was holding him in my arms.

Fast forward two years and I'm now a mother of two beautiful children, living back in my hometown(worlds away from Hollywood), with my husband (Mr. Right) and undeniably happier than I've ever been in my entire life. Somewhere along the road, from Hollywood to homemaker, the confessional style blogging stopped (admittedly, my life was dramatically less scandalous) and in it's place came blogs about first steps, nursery bedding, and breastfeeding. Ironically, I was no longer lost in my life, and yet, in my writing, I was nowhere to be found.

It seems, when one is content with their life, there's really not much to talk about, now is there. Yet despite being challenged with the relentless writer's block known as happiness, I am attempting once again to start a blog. This blog will be my attempt to find myself again, through my words, through hopefully one day discussion, and through the cathartic experience that is blogging.

Welcome to The Novice Mom.