Saturday, October 11, 2008

Delusions of Grandeur

If you were a fly on my wall, watching me change diaper after diaper in yesterday's sweats, you would hardly believe this novice mom suffers from delusions of grandeur. As you buzz around my house, you're amazed at the amount of dirty laundry littered from one room to another and you can't quite get over the distinctive smell of poop. You notice the stack of bills on the dining room table, catching a glimpse of a red overdue stamp. "How," you wonder, "could this scattered mom think she's anything more than a harried housewife?"

I may have delusions but I'm certainly not delusional. I know my life is messy right now, wrapped up in the well being of my two babies. I know the reality of this post baby belly, pit stained, under showered mama being anything beyond a stay at home mom in Small Town, America might seem far fetched. So I suppose this is where the delusion comes in. Because even though it might not seem too fabulous from the point of view of a fly, I'm convinced my life is meant to be, and will be, hailed as fabulous from moms across the globe.

If we believe in ourselves enough, can our dreams become our reality? Does vocalizing our dreams bring them any closer to becoming true? I'd like to think so.

My dream is to achieve success and recognition for my work. To pave a new path for mothers who desperately desire to stay home with their children, while earning money and a sense of career accomplishment at the same time. My dream is to be the spokesperson for this new approach to motherhood, after all, I will have written the book - The Novice Mom.

I envision myself venturing out on an extensive press circuit, my entire family in tow. My publisher signing me to a four book deal. Months of every year spent in Maui, working from my laptop, with clients none the wiser that I'm sipping on a Mai Tai, poolside.

But mostly, I envision my life a lot like how it is now. At home, with my children, and yes, even some days in my sweats (though hopefully sans the post baby bod). I might be delusional, thinking this way of life could be passed off as fabulous. But if that's the case, I'd rather be labeled naive then believe my life is anything less.

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